Condoms Suck
Let us get this out in the open. Nobody likes condoms. Don’t pretend you do and surprisingly ladies hate them just as much. The purpose of sex (okay well maybe it isn’t) is enjoyment and condoms take away about 93.4% of that. Think about what we have to go through. Most of us get circumsized at birth and the removal of foreskin removes 40% of the feeling from our dicks. Can you believe that?
At the time of our birth they are already trying to crimp our sex game. So what do we do? We decide that 40% isn’t enough and sex is simply too enjoyable so we need to put latex over our dicks to subdue the pleasure. What in the fuck are we thinking? Who the fuck invented condoms? Wasn’t straight men. Wasn’t straight women. Sure as hell wasn’t gay men.
Lesbians. Goddamn lesbians did this to us. Fuck you lesbians. You figured that just because the enjoyment you get with your tongues and fingers doesn’t compare to us laying the pipe that you had to cockblock (literally) us? It isn’t enough that you take our women, but now you just want us to suffer as well when we finally get a chance to nail one?
I fucking hate you.
And what is with this one size fits all thing with condoms? I have yet to find the right size condom for my dick. The skin ones where you aren’t supposed to feel the actual condom work great until they squeeze all the feeling out of my dick by blocking blood circulation. Then you do the XXL condoms and they fit great, but so do my size 45 jeans. I might not have a problem with condoms if there was a company that made custom condoms to fit your dick specifically. In fact, I would be so intrigued by this development that I would probably use them until I die because they would become my favorite tool to bring to the bedroom. Similar to my favorite jeans to the club.
I understand why women don’t like to go on the pill because of what it does to their bodies. There are alternatives, but it really only makes sense for the people in long term relationships. From a STD standpoint condoms are a necessity, but if you are doing the solo sex thing with one person we all know we try to avoid the condom route.
Over the past year I have heard of miracle pills now for men. That is correct Harris, birth control pills for men. Of course they aren’t fully tested so they aren’t on the market yet. Sex is the most enjoyable activity in the world yet there are so many hurdles you have to worry about at times that it takes away some of the fun.
Guess there is nothing that can be done right now except stick with the #2 and #3 best alternatives for safe sex: pulling out and anal.
2 Responses
NN / 10.08.08
“Most of us get circumsized at birth”
Uhm, no, actually we don’t. Maybe in America, but not in Europe.
Btw, pulling out can still lead to pregnancy. Pretty scary that you don’t know that!
pTickle / 10.08.08
Yes I meant America and yes I know pulling out is a silly form of contraception. Sarcasm is dead on the web I suppose.
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