Why do they always want to date?

pTickle / 10.14.08 / 4 responses / Dating

When I wrote about Jennifer Goldstein there were a lot of people that said they could relate to it (obviously not in the comments though!) and for good reason. We have all had those school crushes which in turn later become work crushes. These are great because essentially you skip the shitty dating phase because you are getting to know the person naturally through everyday life. Life isn’t always that easy though.

How many times have we met someone great in the club to only go out on a date with them and it wasn’t there anymore. No clue what happened between the night in the club to the next night at dinner (and I’m not talking about alcohol), but maybe us men should stop asking women out when we first meet them. But that is what they like and what they want!

I like to ask women out to lunch because I think lunch is neutral territory. You can get to know a person over lunch without thinking you are stuck for the rest of the night with them or worrying about the goodnight kiss and all that other great stuff.

Maybe you don’t take them out on a date and just get their number and talk for a while. What if talking on the phone sucks? Then yeah you just stop doing it, but damn you can understand why people go for work relationships although 99% of the time they are bad news. While working with someone or going to school with them it is just as if you are having lunch with them everyday without the stresses of seeing if it will go anywhere.

I have been pretty consistent with my system of “dating” over the years. Meet a girl in the club, ask them out to lunch, get turned off and never call them again. Since I work from home I don’t have that luxury of being surrounded by a ton of cute women that make you wonder how they look if they actually got dressed up at night. I need to start getting numbers and instead of doing one-on-one dates see when the girl is going out again with her friends and I will bring my friends. Get a couple of those under our belts before moving any further.

That is totally logical to me. Will they go for it? Who knows. Will I still make some exceptions and ask a couple out to lunch/dinner? Of course I will. Be foolish of me to believe I would stop. However, although the women won’t admit it, they love the fast track to happiness and want that date. They love to be asked out, just now they will have to wait a couple more times. They’ll live.

4 Responses

Dantelle Davis / 10.15.08

My husband was my co-worker. In January we are starting our own business if the economy holds up. In the beginning we put a lot of pressure on ourselves because we worked together. We over-analyzed it to death and it made for rough times, stupid mistakes and unnecessary pain. We watched each other date other people but we really wanted each other. He was dating a woman who I admit I didn’t like but she wasn’t good enough for him. I slipped up and called her the B word and he realized I was jealous. He called one of the men I was dating the P word. He said the man wasn’t as good as he was and I slipped and said he wouldn’t let me date him so what was I supposed to do? I wanted to die from embarrassment at the time but it’s funny to look back on, the entire thing is even the dating other people part. We talked about it and we realized we got along personally and professionally because we got to know each other before the romance part began. When we were furious at each other and frustrated the work still got done, we still talked to each other as “friends” and we still cared about each other. It worked because we are meant to be together. For both of us the pain immediately went away when we realized we already had each other. We are truly connected because we went from misery to happiness in 10 minutes. *smile* We truly dated because we could get lost in other and enjoy the romance since we already knew each other.

For me life could have been “that easy” but we both made it hard. Maybe it could be that easy for you and you are making it hard. You are on the right track of getting to know the woman first before dating. “Dating with friends” still does not allow you to get to know the “real” her. Your connection will end up being physical, not mental. A life partner is best friend and that takes times to happen.

My girlfriends try to skip to exclusive dating and that never works out. I ask them what’s the rush? Their answer always ends up being making the man hers. One day they will learn.

Synn / 10.15.08

When I wrote about Jennifer Goldstein there were a lot of people that said they could relate to it (obviously not in the comments though!) and for good reason.

It’s an awesome post. Almost as good as the Tim video.

We have all had those school crushes which in turn later become work crushes. These are great because essentially you skip the shitty dating phase because you are getting to know the person naturally through everyday life.

Yup.

Life isn’t always that easy though.

Maybe not for some people…

pTickle / 10.20.08

@Dantelle: Yeah it seems to work that way with people we are always around. It makes sense to over analyze because if it didn’t work out you still had to work with that person, but because of all that the dating part was probably really easy.

People need to explore and although they can fall for someone fast need to understand patience.

@Synn: So you basically think I am awesome. I totally agree with you.

Synn / 10.20.08

Basically. Some things are undeniably true.