Hey papi! You by yourself?

Well of course I am. Been sitting here for 30 minutes by myself and haven’t even picked my head up from my game of Monopoly on my phone.

Why don’t you come and sit over here with some beautiful women.

Now beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I understand that. Beauty is relative. I understand that, but beauty was not part of the equation with these women. However, I love to interact with women because they offer a different perspective on life that you just can’t get with men so I obliged because that would be pretty dick of me to turn them down when I was sitting by myself at the bar.

So for about 30 minutes, we talked, joked and generally had a good time. They left, I went back to my spot and life carried on. Bartender asked me why would I waste my time with women that I obviously had no interest in? Then I realized that damn, I can now understand what women go through.

As men we usually think it’s stupid for a woman to just want to hangout with a man and not want anything else to happen, but I guess they do. I still don’t go out of my way to call a woman just to hangout, but hanging out with them while I am out is a good time no matter what they look like and sometimes it is even more fun when I have no intentions because the end result is just a group of people having fun.

However, let’s be honest since we are all adults here, had these women been even remotely attractive the scene probably would have been different and everything I just said previously wouldn’t matter.

Just saying…

If you happen to follow my YoScrivs channel on YouTube you will see that women have no problem showing their affection although in reality the videos aren’t showing anything special. Not like I am ever GQed out or live in a nice place. Hell in fact, my place is usually a disaster in the background.

I have watched my videos thousands of times analyzing every little bit and telling myself what I would fix if I could although all of these things are what help to make me. That does not mean there is no room for improvement or change because there definitely is, but some of these flaws (hell maybe they aren’t flaws if they end up being good) should be embraced instead of tossed aside.

On occasion I participate in the discussions over at Tyme Said and I am sure there is a video I could do that everyone would hate. Maybe there is something I could say that would completely turn people off, but it really doesn’t happen. I have interacted with these people for so long they know more about me than I do. If I had anymore flaws to hide I am not sure they aren’t already aware of them.

Then I look at my family who definitely know more about my flaws than anyone, they know the mistakes I have made in my life and yet their love never fades. I sometimes like to make myself seem invulnerable as many men like to do, but it is during these times of vulnerability that they embrace me even more because once again I become human.

As men we don’t want the perfect woman. We enjoy the flaws we can find in a woman and in time learn to love them, why would it be any different for us men? Now there are definitely some flaws that need to be fixed. I’m not saying go all out and expose all of your weaknesses, but try to understand what is really a weakness that should be erased and what is part of your being that women will embrace.

Maybe you don’t like what you have done when she isn’t around. Speaking from experience here I can say that I have no problem with girls I am talking to going out with anyone (well maybe not ex-boyfriends) until…

And guys this is where we really mess things up. You might not realize you have done this yourself, but when I tell you what goes down and you think about it, you might have a better understanding of where I am coming from.

…I catch myself flirting/messing/doing whatever with other girls. As a player you want to be able to do what you want to do, but you know what goes down when you are out so you being to apply that to your woman as well. If you do it, what is to stop her from doing it? Funny thing is, most of the time (not all of these women are angels) they really are faithful and don’t do a damn thing. Hell, more times than not you will see a woman tell another guy that she has a man and is taken care of. How many times do we say that when women approach us?

We project our bad traits onto them and it just isn’t fair and usually leads to drama and the end of a potentially great relationship. Too many guys think that getting away with being a player on the side is fine, but don’t understand there are deeper ramifications for their shady ways.

Now if you are the way you are because a woman cheated on you after you did everything right for her I feel for you. I truly do. However, that doesn’t give you the right to sabotage all of your future relationships. If you are going to stay a player don’t get involved in relationships because you are doing more damage when you go out than you realize.

If you want to at least try to make it work cut all the bullshit off. It is not easy. Hell you might say it is damn near impossible, but you will find that if you stick through with it you will gain a deeper appreciation for your woman and the trust will only grow.

If she breaks that trust that you have busted your ass to maintain then yank her wig off and kick her to the curb. Can’t trust all of them.

So what’s the issue?

They are our trophies. This is the cold, harsh reality of being a man that women don’t want to know about. We have sex with you, put it down on our list and it’s like placing a trophy on the shelf. Seeing another man go for her or take her is like taking our trophy away and putting it on their shelf. It shouldn’t happen. Like trophies, we may forget about them hanging up, never dust them or even look at them, but we sure as hell notice when one goes missing.

The problem though is that many men mistake this for having actual feelings for the girl so they run back letting them know that they care about them and that they are ready to make the next step when they really aren’t. They just want their trophy back and this is why we get in trouble. You can’t mistake your own feelings of selfishness for actual feelings of the girl. It will utterly and completely fuck things up even more.

Now I know some women that you have had sex with you could really care less if they went with another man. Not all trophies are created equal. The important thing to understand about yourself though is whether you are looking at the girl as a trophy or someone that you really feel you can do something with long term.

I don’t tell you this to protect the women, but to protect you from continually getting yourself in trouble. I have done it before and there is a good chance I will do it in the future. As men we get caught up in stupid stuff like this and forget that we need to take a step back and understand where we are coming from.

Now we have all been there before where we just can’t let someone go immediately, but hopefully we understand that over time the pain becomes less and less. It doesn’t completely disappear because some feelings just don’t go away along with memories. In this case though I was having a hard time understanding why he was so into trying to get this girl back. Every time I go out with him he has beautiful women throwing themselves at him that are more attractive than the girl he wants. Yes, I know, looks aren’t everything, but if you are being treated like shit and you have women worshipping the ground you walk on you can at least take some therapy from that.

I didn’t gain a full understanding until we just started talking in general about what he had done for her over the past couple of months. Did all the right things a man should do in a relationship with a ton of extras. He boasted about how he moved all her stuff in by himself and set up her whole room and then it hit me. It’s not that you want the person back necessarily because when you think about it, the relationship sucks. As men we often times want our investment back.

Women love to bitch and moan about how we are dogs and how we can simply bounce from chick to chick without getting emotionally involved and this is part of the reason. If we don’t have to invest in anything than we don’t lose anything. It sucks for women, but this is part of the male psyche. If we do invest ourselves into a woman only to have it taken away from us we transform back into the dogs that they like to complain about.

As men though we need to realize when we are doing this to ourselves. Once a relationship is fucked up, there is no chance of getting that investment back. You are just making things worse by trying to patch up something that is beyond repair. Once you understand that your investment is loss you can move on. There will still be feelings, but at least you have the understanding that you aren’t trying to win her back, you are simply trying to figure out a way that everything you put in doesn’t go to waste.

It is too easy to get caught up in remembering everything we have done and went through for a women while forgetting everything that went wrong. The reason we aren’t with someone is because all that wrong outweighed the right. Investments get lost, it just happens in life. The point is you can always invest in another and when that reaps you more benefits than you can handle you will laugh at the bad investments…as long as you learned to let them go.

How many times have we met someone great in the club to only go out on a date with them and it wasn’t there anymore. No clue what happened between the night in the club to the next night at dinner (and I’m not talking about alcohol), but maybe us men should stop asking women out when we first meet them. But that is what they like and what they want!

I like to ask women out to lunch because I think lunch is neutral territory. You can get to know a person over lunch without thinking you are stuck for the rest of the night with them or worrying about the goodnight kiss and all that other great stuff.

Maybe you don’t take them out on a date and just get their number and talk for a while. What if talking on the phone sucks? Then yeah you just stop doing it, but damn you can understand why people go for work relationships although 99% of the time they are bad news. While working with someone or going to school with them it is just as if you are having lunch with them everyday without the stresses of seeing if it will go anywhere.

I have been pretty consistent with my system of “dating” over the years. Meet a girl in the club, ask them out to lunch, get turned off and never call them again. Since I work from home I don’t have that luxury of being surrounded by a ton of cute women that make you wonder how they look if they actually got dressed up at night. I need to start getting numbers and instead of doing one-on-one dates see when the girl is going out again with her friends and I will bring my friends. Get a couple of those under our belts before moving any further.

That is totally logical to me. Will they go for it? Who knows. Will I still make some exceptions and ask a couple out to lunch/dinner? Of course I will. Be foolish of me to believe I would stop. However, although the women won’t admit it, they love the fast track to happiness and want that date. They love to be asked out, just now they will have to wait a couple more times. They’ll live.

At the time of our birth they are already trying to crimp our sex game. So what do we do? We decide that 40% isn’t enough and sex is simply too enjoyable so we need to put latex over our dicks to subdue the pleasure. What in the fuck are we thinking? Who the fuck invented condoms? Wasn’t straight men. Wasn’t straight women. Sure as hell wasn’t gay men.

Lesbians. Goddamn lesbians did this to us. Fuck you lesbians. You figured that just because the enjoyment you get with your tongues and fingers doesn’t compare to us laying the pipe that you had to cockblock (literally) us? It isn’t enough that you take our women, but now you just want us to suffer as well when we finally get a chance to nail one?

I fucking hate you.

And what is with this one size fits all thing with condoms? I have yet to find the right size condom for my dick. The skin ones where you aren’t supposed to feel the actual condom work great until they squeeze all the feeling out of my dick by blocking blood circulation. Then you do the XXL condoms and they fit great, but so do my size 45 jeans. I might not have a problem with condoms if there was a company that made custom condoms to fit your dick specifically. In fact, I would be so intrigued by this development that I would probably use them until I die because they would become my favorite tool to bring to the bedroom. Similar to my favorite jeans to the club.

I understand why women don’t like to go on the pill because of what it does to their bodies. There are alternatives, but it really only makes sense for the people in long term relationships. From a STD standpoint condoms are a necessity, but if you are doing the solo sex thing with one person we all know we try to avoid the condom route.

Over the past year I have heard of miracle pills now for men. That is correct Harris, birth control pills for men. Of course they aren’t fully tested so they aren’t on the market yet. Sex is the most enjoyable activity in the world yet there are so many hurdles you have to worry about at times that it takes away some of the fun.

Guess there is nothing that can be done right now except stick with the #2 and #3 best alternatives for safe sex: pulling out and anal.