Shaving your ass
Dancing to get women
Which race gives the best head?
My Small Dick Part 2
My Small Dick Part 1
Saying ‘I Love You’
I don’t understand our species sometimes. We try our hardest not to go about jumping into crazy relationships too soon because many of us fear commitment and are ready to move on to the next nice piece of ass that walks by, yet some of us have no problem tossing out ‘I love you’ early in the relationship. What is early? I would say up to 6 months and maybe even beyond that.
You have to understand that once you say those 3 words you are setting yourself up big time for a disaster. First you are building up expectations on her part because you know the girls have no problem saying that shit back. Maybe that is why you say it in the first place. You want to have that possession thing that all men do by knowing that she is only telling you that she loves you. Seriously though, how many times do you say ‘I love you’ only to break up in the near future?
I have said it twice and those relationships lasted years. Years people. My girlfriend in high school taught me not to say it too soon. In fact we refrained from saying it for over 18 months and substituted other words one being “wuv” instead. Yeah you may laugh at me, but being able to express it in another word made life so much easier because we knew what we meant when we said it without the stress that can come with the word love.
What made it even better is I remember the night that it hit me that I really loved her and if things had worked out (this is high school remember and we went to separate colleges) that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That is when I knew what love was for me and not just an infatuation or a strong feeling for another.
The thing is saying ‘I love you’ is just too damn easy and too many of us use it as an escape route to get out of trouble. Think about who you have said it to and think if you really loved that person more than any other. The second person I said that to I truly did love and have stronger feelings for than the first person. The next person I say ‘I love you’ to I expect that my feelings will reach heights that they never have before because they will take me there.
If your girl is trying to force you into saying it by saying she loves you, explain to her that you have deep feelings for her, but you want to make sure the moment is right when you first say it. Let her know that it isn’t a phrase to just be tossed around and just because love can mean many things to many different people, the first time you say it to her it will be the first time you meant it that deeply to anyone.
My dick is too small
I don’t understand it, but there are times where I look at myself and I simply think that my dick is too small. Just like you I have had women tell me how big I am, I am the perfect size and they love it, but really it is too small. Why can’t my eyes work like the cameras that porn directors use so that I could see my dick as being able to smash a fastball over the Green Monster at Fenway?
Now when we talk to our boys rarely does dick size come up, but rest assured when we are all around each other nobody speaks up and says “hey guys, I do wish my dick was bigger because I’m not happy with the size.” No way, not us men. We make sure to let our boys know that we carry the redwood in this forest.
When the ladies tell you how great your skin flute is do you believe them? Well I do when I am in bed with them, but outside the sheets when the brain relocates to our head again the doubt kicks in. Why can’t I just be bigger?
Then I start to consider that maybe if I was the size I wanted to be then that would probably be too big for 99% of the women out there. I mean not all of them are pornstars or have vaginas deeper than the Grand Canyon. We know the women we are fortunate enough to interact with have only had sex with four (feel free to continue laughing while you finish reading) men so their love canyons (double canyon use in one paragraph is so beyond epic) are no deeper or wider than toothpick.
Still, my dick is too small. I will continue to use it of course because it was put there for a reason. Don’t give me that “it is how you use it” talk because I don’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t worry about how to use it if my 3 wood was ready to tee off. Sure my oral fixation helps out some as well, but nothing beats having a third forearm to please the ladies with.
I can only gain comfort from knowing that there is no way my dick is smaller than your’s. Right?
My Small Dick Part 1
My Small Dick Part 2
Jennifer Goldstein
Mr. Sandman
I know that there were crushes before her, but Jennifer Goldstein from my first grade class is the first one that I can remember having. She was a blonde and I am pretty sure she wasn’t even the cutest girl in the class at the time. Seeing her a couple years later confirmed that I caught her in her prime already. Knowing how much I cherish the looks of a woman I had to think why this one was my crush in the class above all others and I remember one particular moment.
Family Ties the TV show was big back then and there was an episode where the girls sang Mr. Sandman. The next day at school Jennifer and a couple of her friends sang Mr. Sandman to me and after that I was hooked. I’m not sure if I had feelings for her before then, but at that moment she had dibs on my heart for the rest of the year. If any girl wanted a chance at me they had to top Jennifer and at age 6 that didn’t seem likely.
Jennifer had established a connection with me that went beyond the physical and that is how she won. That is why many women win today when they don’t have physical attractiveness on their side and why so many lose when they do have it. As shallow as we are, the male species does place a certain value on a woman that can make a connection with us. Why do you think men fall in love with co-workers when they know they shouldn’t or why your biggest crushes seemed to have happened in high school?
When you are around someone daily you get to know them without the implications that are introduced at a bar or a club. Sure you might think they are hot, but because you know you shouldn’t be doing anything with them you simply get to know them and a connection builds and that is when the trouble really begins.
That is why one night stands generally don’t work with us even though women continually think that the way to our hearts is in between the sheets.
Assertive Often Wins
Another lesson that can be taken from Jennifer was the fact that she was assertive with her feelings. There were no games, she let it be known that she liked me in her own way. Women do that today and they can come off as sluts or they think they need to play hard to get to the point where they don’t seem interested at all. It’s a tough situation no matter how you look at it simply because there is so much to lose. If you really like a man, being rejected by him can hurt more than anything. However, not knowing if something is possible between you two is even worse.
Now to my fellas out there we know this applies triple to us. As men we are expected to make the first move and often times this move results in a crash and burn, which causes many of us to be reluctant in the future. We get too reluctant we piss the ladies off and chase them away. It almost seems like a lose-lose situation unless you actually win the lady over. What are we to do?
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